Saturday, September 29, 2007

R.I.P Iphone Unlocked- August 24, 2007-September 27, 2007

The IPhone: It's everything except a good phone.

This whole hoopla about the "iBrick" is just another business opportunity for Apple.

The next IWhatever needs to have all the features of the IPhone minus the phone. It should still have a microphone so nerds can download Skype 3rd party software and talk all day long.

It should have a camera for video conferencing over the net with other IWhatever users. That would be super duper, beyond hot. On a fast 3G data network this product would be unstoppable.

The IWhatever should allow the customers to have any 3rd party software they wish.

Apple could probably start their own telecommunication co., Helio style, or open the device so it can be used with data plans from different providers. Can you imagine this product on a Blackberry like network? Wow!!!

Does anybody know where I can get 50 million dollars to start this myself?

Friday, September 28, 2007

In an Confidential Memo, A Pentagon General Claims to Want as Many Dead Soldiers Coming Back From Iraq as Possible.

Click play to view memo.

Time online has an article about the V-22 Osprey being deployed in Iraq for combat. Why Pentagon? Why? Haven't American mothers and soldiers suffer enough?

With quotes from the Time such as the ones below, how can the generals at the Pentagon justify the cost of this program, and its deployment in a war zone?

"V-22 crashes have claimed the lives of 30 men — 10 times the lunar program's toll — all before the plane has seen combat."

"The V-22's tendency to generate a dust storm when it lands in desert-like terrain wasn't examined because "an unusually wet spring resulted in a large amount of vegetation that prevented severe brownouts during landing attempts," the Pentagon's top tester noted."

"The V-22 can't glide as well as an airplane, and it can't hover as well as a helicopter."

It seems to me that Bin Laden does not need to plot any more terrorist attacks against U.S soldiers in Iraq since we are about to do fine job terminating them ourselves.

I am not a soldier, but I do know one fundamental thing about war--sometimes complicated hardware is a downside. For all the talk about the V-22's agility, I know that any terrorist in Iraq who has ever watched a season of McGyver could take this "planecopter" down in less than 5 minutes. Let's all pray and hope that terrorists do not like McGyver.

Please Pentagon, stop spending our money as if it did grow on trees. And to these politicians on Capitol Hill who supported this project in order to help their districts, I say this: America is not a commune. I shouldn't have to work hard, pay taxes, and see it wasted so people in your districts can have jobs. Your problems can't be my problems.

Children's Television is Making our Preschoolers Stupid.

Parents trust Noggin and Nick Jr. with their infants and preschoolers because they've been told these stations want to help educate their children. But do these shows need to insult our children's intelligence, and ours?

The videos are from a show called "Yo, Gabba Gabba!" The first clip has a green monster called Brobee that starts singing about having a "party in his tummy." The song is suppose to make kids want to eat their vegetables. The vegetables in the video seem to have suicidal tendencies since they are begging to be eaten.

I think the clip is funny, but in a stupid kind of way. I wonder whether parents in Ethiopia have to sing stupid songs to their preschoolers to get them to eat their vegetables?

We tell our kids to always chew their food before swallowing; but Brobee comes along and swallow his food whole. The same children who believe that vegetables are capable of having "parties in their tummies," may also believe that they should not chew their food for these parties to happen.
Why do American parent keep subjecting their children to these nonsense?

In the second video, Julius the Monkey has a cameo. I really wish children's programming executives would stop calling their shows "educational," and start calling them by their real names, "ads."

A commenter on YouTube proclaims that this show is great to watch when he's high, or on acid. You know it's time to change the station when druggies have the same taste in programming as your kids.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Wallabies Having an Orgy? Please Say It Isn't So.

If are a prude, a creationist or do not have a sense of humor, do not view this video. You may never see wallabies in the same way again.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Veterans of the War Against Microsoft

David Galleger of the New York Times time recently attended a Halo 3 launch even and came across the picture above and wondered what the signed was about. It just dawn of me that the person who put up the sign just pulled the best prank of the year. They got the New York Times to wonder about their sign. Kudos guys!!

There is no veterans of war against Microsoft, but it was marketing genius. I think it is someone who works for Microsoft who was trying to be funny and put the sign up.

Microsoft has a "Believe" campaign going and some of the ads for Halo 3 have a bunch of "veterans" from the war against the Covenant talking about their experiences and I think the sign was alluding to that.

Check out the spots for yourself and tell me If you think I am right.

Warning! These ads are really boring except for the one with the toy soldiers. It was really well done.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Bollinger Makes Intellectuals Look Like Jackasses.

President of Columbia University Is as Crazy as Ahmadinejad.

What can be said about this YouTube video other than it proves that intellectuals are jackasses. Why? Why would the president of Columbia University invites this man to his school and then insult him? He started so well and then went down hill from there.

The president of Columbia just ruined it for every other school that wished to have Ahmadinejad over so they could take stab at him too. Attention whore!

Ahmadinejad took the opportunity to make him look stupid. You know you're in trouble when the crazy guy in the room scolds you and it makes sense.

Watch the videos for yourselves and decide.

Monday, September 24, 2007

10 Billion Dollars for FaceBook? Somebody is Smoking Crack!

FaceBook being worth 10 billion or more is the biggest lie since rumors of a Britney comeback.

The hottest business news today is the possible purchase of a 5% stake in FaceBook by Microsoft. I say don’t do it Microsoft! Don’t fall for the FaceBook trap. For 300-500 million dollars Microsoft can create its own social networking site and get a better return on its investment. They need creative people, awesome content, fresh concepts and they would be unstoppable.

I found this, somewhat, funny video on YouTube that illustrate the pitfalls of paying this outrageous sum for a 5% stake in a social networking site. Sites like MySpace and FaceBook are in a fight against time. Tastes in social networks are in constant flux. There are no guarantees that what the young find cool today will be cool tomorrow. That 10 billion dollars valuation for FaceBook is the biggest lie since the prediction of a Britney comeback.

If Google wants to pay this sum, let them. They have money to burn. Microsoft should not go to the table with FaceBook with such a strong scent of desperation. I can smell it from my couch. Business deals made out of desperation never end up well. Examples: Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. You get the point.

I have a MySpace, FaceBook and YouTube account. If I was confronted with Sophie’s choice, I am afraid both Myspace and FaceBook would have to go. The future is video social networking. If only YouTube could make their site a bit more flexible, no one would care for either Myspace or FaceBook..

And The 2007 Oscar For Best Actress Goes To Cate Blanchett For Elizabeth: The Golden Age.

Trailers are made to built excitement for a movie, but this new trailer for Elizabeth: The Golden Age is in a league of its own. Wow!! I don't ever want to cross Cate Blanchett when she's angry.

The trailer for this movie is amazing. The score, the editing are outstanding. I don't know how the actual movie can top it. It is a long trailer but it's a thrilling one. I can't wait to see the movie. I am actually thinking I should not see the movie because it might ruin the trailer for me.

I can safely say that Cate Blanchett got herself, at least, another nomination. Cate, get your dress ready, you are going to the Oscars.

I don't know if any actor has ever won an Oscar for the same role in the original and a sequal to a movie, but it should not matter. A good performance is a good performance. Reward the acting. I would like the Academy members to consider this trailer's editor for best editing as well. It's that good!

And the Oscar goes to: Cate Blanchett.

Thanks to wanax( for posting this really good version.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Nicholas Sparks Can Eat Me!

Everyone has a friend or knows someone who tells them that they must see "The Notebook" because it is so moving. I've seen the movie and I did not find it very sad or compelling. I felt something was wrong with me because I did not cry watching it. Today, I discovered that everything is right with me. It is the movie that sucked.

YouTube has a few Thai health insurance commercials that are so moving I guarantee tears will be shed. You know you have a great ad when you leave viewers wanting more. I wanted these ads to be full length movies.

Warning! Get some Kleenex.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Zoloft Japanese Style

I found this jewel on YouTube and you have to watch it to believe.

The video is an ad which claims to change bi-polar moods, or stress, if you just pop this bubble wrap type object around your neck. it makes a popping sound without actually popping the plastic. I don't speak Japanese so I am guessing. It's Zoloft for the cutesy minded Japanese. I think it's a weird, stupid idea, but deep down I applaud the Japanese for trying to come up with innovative ways to make people happy without drugging them. The price is a bit ridiculous too. It cost 59 dollars. I could buy 1 year supply of real bubble wrap for that price. But the savings from not medicating and helping the environment makes it worth the price. If this thing takes off, Merck and Pfizer may have some serious competition. I hope it works.

Gimme More Britney Parodies

I am so over Britney Spears, but the parodies keep coming and they are very funny. The newest one on YouTube is "Gimme More (Pills)" by director gregcarnici and it is a hoot. It got 58 thousand hits so far after only 2 days. Not bad. The guy in the video has a better body than Britney. His abs are gorgeous. How sad!! For Britney.

Asians Gone Wild

There is a video on YouTube asking people to distinguish who in the video is Japanese and who is Korean. The director fpaldks11 was "curious." Curious or stupid? There are people who are taking their time to answer the question as if they would win a prize for getting the answer right. Someone actually wrote a funny comment, which may be racist, but I choose to see it as sarcasm. It says "they're neither...they're Mexicans." The purpose of the video is ridiculous, but the song on it is way cool. Check it out for the music. These girls can dance. They are definitely Koreans. Just saying.

Update--The director of this video blocked me because I commented that the girls looked Filipino to me. He did not get the sarcasm and was insulted that I would think that Korean girls looked Filipino. It seems that there is an Asian race war going on but they forgot to tell the rest of the world about it. Well, it was fun posting that people who responded seriously were idiots. Stupid questions deserve stupid answers. I hope he changes his mind and unblock me. They need the debate.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Spice Girl, Spices Up YouTube

Melanie C's new single "This Time" is getting lots of hits on YouTube. The song itself is O.K.. I wanted to like it very much, but I was not feeling it. The music and her voice are average. But the fans, who are mostly overseas, would hear none of it. Any one who dared say the song was not so great were quickly given negative ratings. As far as Melanie's fans are concerned, Mel C is the greatest female voice of the year. "This is so gorgeous and so emotional!!!" proclaimed a fan from Montenegro. "Actually, this is a really well written pop song, and goddamn, Sporty Spice is still so hot.," said another. These people put fan in fanatic. Have a listen and decide for yourself.

Dirty, Dirty, Mind

The hottest video on YouTube right now is a funny video. So far, it got 170 thousand hits. It is very funny and will get at least a 1 million hits in a few months.

The video proves that reality is all in the mind. The artist is clearly a genius.

Lovers Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia BUSTED, by Stalker

The hot new video on YouTube is a video of Hayden and Milo from the NBC show Heroes. Why is it getting so many hits?? Because we are voyeurs.

It is a stupid video of two people dancing, who may or may not have a relationship with each other and kissing once in a while. The "riveting" video shows the two "love birds" or "booty calls" dancing really closely and kissing, I think. The video was so dark, I am still not sure what I saw.

It was filmed without them being aware. It is a bit creepy and I don't think I am going to watch it again. But for your viewing pleasure here it is below. Enjoy!!

Tom Ford Thinks American Men Want to Smell Like Pussy, All The Time.

If you have been living under a rock, you may not have heard about designer Tom Ford's new fragrance for men. The ad for the fragrance is getting a lot of press because it is so provocative. It shows a naked woman holding the fragrance bottle between her legs, hiding her clitoris. I did not get the campaign, but today I discovered a gem on YouTube/vogue channel. It is an interview with Mr. Ford talking about his strategy for creating fragrances.

In the interview, Mr. Ford talks about his "Private Blend." It seems that he likes for men to smell like tobacco, ass, and virgina. He is also working on fragrances that will appeal to different part of the world. There will be a fragrance for men in Moscow, which by no doubt will smell like vodka and vomit. There will be a fragrance for Dubai. It seems that Mr. Ford marketing team does not know that the majority of people in Dubai are poor immigrants. The Dubai population is comprised of immigrant men from different country in Asia.

The question I want to ask is this. Is Mr. Ford designing for men so women can find the smell inviting, or he is he designing for gay men? Because I know of no woman who likes her man smelling like an ashtray and find it sexy.

Justin Talked to Oprah About Britney and Said that She's Crazy.

Well, Justin did not say that. I am guessing it's because he did not have the balls or he is a perfect gentlemen. On YouTube today the clip of Justin "talking" about Britney on Oprah and saying absolutely nothing, zip, nada, has already received 70,0000 hits. "I haven't talked to her in years," Justin told Oprah. On YouTube, saying nothing is as good as saying something.

Muji Stores Opening in the U.S. and Slate Writer is About to Poop his Pants

Muji = Ikea for SoHo Suckers

Slate online declared that the Japanese powerhouse Muji was opening U.S. stores and that called for a hallelujah. Hallelujah, because a furniture store is coming to SoHo? I could not wait to hear more. The writer admitted that Muji is basically just like Ikea but with really boring stuff. In the article it states “IKEA implores customers to "be brave, not beige." Muji, in contrast, revels in neutrality. Almost all of its products are devoid of color, and the most surprising and delightful aspect of their design is how nondescript they are.” Am I supposed to rejoice because my furniture is going to be “devoid of color?” Ikea sells plenty of things that are devoid of color, why don’t I just go there.

“The rabid excitement over Muji is very much deserved, but the most innovative aspect of the company's products isn't the quality of their design; it's how fundamentally they redefine the idea of the design object.” OK let me get this straight. I am paying high prices for neutral colored furniture that is not very good quality because it is redefining design. Oh now that it’s being put to me this way, I can’t wait to go buy me some Muji accessories.

I went on YouTube to see Muji products in moving picture. I clicked, I watched, and I was not impressed. Well just a bit impressed. Muji sells these electrical outlets which are so well designed, Ikea must copy them. Good design is important, but I am not paying SoHo, Midtown Manhattan, prices for stuff because they are beige(neutral) and from Japan.

I am sure that are plenty of people in Manhattan who can’t wait to overpay for their shelving units. Actually I think there are plenty of people in Manhattan that won’t buy anything unless they are being overcharged for it. To these people I say, shop on suckers!!!

Muji commercials highlighting how plain and beige everything is at their stores. Chair and bed match. Couches are beige and they go well with beige walls.

Really good design. Only thing worth buying at Muji. I would like the Ikea design (copy) team to start working on something similar.

Ikea commercials highlighting how versatile their products are. You want to own them because you feel they belong in your home, not in a lab.

Path to Career Resuscitation is Paved with Naked PETA Ad

Eating Broccoli Never Seemed so Right

Alicia Silverstone has not made a movie in so long, she makes Chris Tucker look like a working actor. But this week her PETA ad was banned in some “no one cares” town in Texas and the ad became news.

Why was it ban? Well because Ms. Silverstone is somewhat naked. We know she must be naked, but she don’t actually get to see anything. Those Texans are such prudes. But I will admit that a vegan diet has done her body good. The commercial got over 500,000 hits today on YouTube and more people to discover it. Ms. Silverstone is bound to catch the eye of Hollywood once again. The comments on YouTube varies from “Who the hell is Alicia Silverston?” to “Damn she looks hot.”

Of course, no YouTube video would be complete without the haters. The haters don’t hate Ms. Silverstone herself, just all vegans on the planet. Thanks haters! YouTube would not be the same without y’all

Check out the comments for yourselves and you will laugh for at least a solid 15 minutes.

I sense a movie in Ms. Silverstone's future from getting press from this ad. At least a call from her agent.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Leave Chris Crocker Alone! He's Fucking With You.

The Chris Crocker (or Chris Cracker as I like to call him) put out his Britney rant on YouTube over 1 week ago and people are still,furiously, logging in and posting comments on his video. Why? Really, why? Over 100,000 comments and there are still a johnnycomelatelies out there who think they’re will be the first one to comment that Cracker is a "fag" or write the ubiquitous "are you a guy or a girl?" comment. Give it up!! If your comment is number 120,000 on a page, get a clue. No one cares what you are writing. They have heard it by comment number 50,000. But don't listen to me. Feel free to rant anyways.

Cracker just got a TV show (The Chris Crocker Experience)so he can annoy the world even more because so many idiots are logging in to berate him. Controversy sells. He left the video up so people can make defamatory comments because he needs the press and the hits. Cracker is not funny or entertaining, but he is a smart businessperson. He got people to hate him so much they can’t stop watching.